The Edutainment Vortex Diner

Let's Make Learning Fun (Or Else)

Welcome to the Edutainment Vortex Diner! A collection of classic 80s and 90s educational games that didn't actually exist in your universe, and yet, here we are. Obviously the goal is to learn all about science and history and math, and there's no strange cosmic horror twist to anything, right? Also you can make sandwiches!

Meet your teachers -- Miss Monday (Time), Omegus Septum (Science), Sir Rox-a-Lot (History), Detective Inque Wells (Literature) and The Great Zephyr (Math). They are unfathomable beings that span the infinite stretches of time and space and not delusional lost souls in need of a kid to solve the mystery of their existence. Stop insisting the game is anything like that. It's just educational. That's all.

Game Features

• Enjoy a visual novel from the creators of Arcade Spirits, Penny Larceny, the Shadow Over Cyberspace, and Laugh Track -- continue the ongoing multi-game story of the Gigaverse, or play fresh as a new student!

• Experience classic PC game aesthetics including 256-color VGA, 16-color EGA, 4-color CGA, Monochrome, and ASCII text art!

• Earn good grades or become a bratty problem child! Will you empathize with your teachers or reject them entirely?

• Eat delicious sandwiches made out of esoteric words and strange concepts!

• Educate yourself with 20 lessons total, including hidden minigames and surprises along the way!

• Entertain your ears with a jazzy soundtrack that adapts to each era of gaming you encounter!

• Enhanced with full text-to-speech support for disability access, using NVDA if available! Just tap the V key to activate before you start a new game.

Let's Inherit a Terrible Burden

Do well in your lessons, make your teachers happy, and maybe you'll win the deed to the Edutainment Vortex Diner itself! Wouldn't owning a cosmically warped diner be fun?

The diner is open for business. Class is in session. There is no cost to entry. Come on in.